Wrestling with Values

As a leadership coach I’m a big believer in consistent living through meaningful core values, those fundamental beliefs that guide and motivate our attitudes and actions. 

Recently, feeling the weight of stress and anxiety, I felt overrun by a feeling of despair. My mind had become foggy and I struggled to concentrate even on mundane tasks. I began to express my frustrations to God, as in, “Hello!? Where are you in all this!?” 

When I need clarity in my life, one of the things I enjoy is walking the quiet trails near my home with my faithful sweet beagle, Molly. Well past dark, I laced ‘em up, and the first half of my walk I was riddled with self-pity, nearly moved to tears as I vented aloud to any of the Texas Hill Country oak and cedar trees willing to listen. Then came my Jacob vs. God moment. Well, sort of.

If you read the Scriptures, you may be familiar with the story of Jacob having his hip dislocated after a wee hour wrestling match with God (see Genesis 32:22-32). According to Christianity.com, “Jacob’s struggle with God is symbolic of his struggle with his inner self.” 

At one point the voice of self-pity was overtaken by the voice of grit and determination as I began to coach myself just short of a Bobby Knight “motivational” halftime speech. But the fact that such an inner values struggle could happen in the first place is attributable to the fact that I knew my values, otherwise I might still be wondering what the heck is wrong with me!

Words and language usage have extraordinary power in forming our thoughts and influencing our behavior. By proactively naming our self-empowering values today can end up being our front line of defense against waves of crushing negativity tomorrow. 

Borrowing from the infinite wisdom of Tin Cup, when our progress toward our vision feels more like an unfolding lawn chair than a Ferrari cruising an empty highway, it is clarity on those core values that restores proper perspective.

Thankfully, I didn’t walk away with a dislocated hip; instead I received a dose of refreshing energy and determination to lean into my values of grit, confidence, and creativity, allowing them to refill my energy tank and feed my resolve to just keep on keepin’ on! Sometimes that put one foot in front of the other resolve is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Do you know your core values? What works for you in staving off the unexpected ? We’d love to hear your thoughts!